| A Bum |
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A BUM, WHO OBVIOUSLY HAS SEEN MORE THAN HIS SHARE OF HARD TIMES, APPROACHES A WELL-DRESSED GENTLEMAN ON THE STREET. "HEY BUDDY, CAN YOU SPARE TWO BUCKS?" THE WELL-DRESSED GENTLEMAN RESPONDS, "YOU AREN'T GOING TO SPEND IT ON LIQUOR, ARE YOU?" "NO SIR, I DON'T DRINK", RETORTS THE BUM. "YOU AREN'T GOING TO THROW IT AWAY ON SOME FISHING GEAR ARE YOU?" ASKS THE GENTLEMAN. "NO WAY, I DON'T FISH", ANSWERS THE BUM. "YOU WOULDN'T WASTE THE MONEY ON A HUNTING LICENSE, WOULD YOU?" ASKS THE MAN. "NEVER", SAYS THE BUM, "I DON'T HUNT". "YOU WOULDN'T SPEND IT ON A TWO-BIT WOMAN, WOULD YOU?" "OH NO", SAYS THE BUM, "I HAVEN'T HAD A WOMAN IN YEARS." THE MAN ASKS THE BUM IF HE WOULD LIKE TO COME HOME WITH HIM FOR A HOME-COOKED MEAL. THE BUM ACCEPTS EAGERLY. WHILE THEY ARE HEADING FOR THE MANS HOUSE, THE BUM'S CURIOSITY GETS THE BETTER OF HIM. "ISN'T YOUR WIFE GOING TO BE ANGRY WHEN SHE SEE A GUY LIKE ME AT YOUR TABLE?" "PROBABLY", SAYS THE MAN, "BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I WANT HER TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO A GUY WHO DOESN'T DRINK, FISH, HUNT, OR HAVE SEX"
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