| Don't Look Up |
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An old sea captain with one wooden leg, a hook replacing a missing hand and one missing eye went into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him said, "You're really in bad shape. What happened to your leg?" "I fell overboard," said the captain, "and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark bit it off." "Terrible," said the sailor. "And what happened to your hand?" "We were attacked by a man-o'-war," said the captain, "and one of the attackers chopped it off with a saber." "Awful," said the sailor. "And how did you lose your eye?" "Seagull droppings," claimed the captain. "Amazing," said the sailor, "I didn't know birdshit could put your eye out!" "Can't," said the Captain. "But it was my first day with the hook." |